Answers to the top 10 « differences » questions everybody asks Google

The other day, while doing my habitual surf & googling, I found something interesting : you can find the questions everybody is asking google. For example, type « differences between » and google suggest will give you a bunch of questions which are apparently the questions everybody wants the answer for. Don’t fear, my fellow humans ! Here are the answers to your really profound questions.

  1. differences between men and women
    Quite simple yet often asked. Don’t believe the lies about something prominent, the true answer is delicate and subtle : men don’t understand women, and women don’t understand why men don’t understand them (notice the subtle difference).
  2. differences between mitosis and meiosis
    Mitosis is pure and platonic. You get a lot of yourself to talk with. Meiosis is dirty and you need another one. Forget meiosis. Go mitosis, this is for the better (please note: you may have difficulty doing this as a human).
  3. differences between plant and animal cells
    This one is simple if you are not colour blind ! Plant cells are green and are good for transit, animal cells are red and smells not that good when put a long time under the sun.
  4. differences between dna and rna
    One letter. We can see the question is ill formulated, since obviously there is only one difference.
  5. differences between c and c++
    With c++, you get two ++ for the same price tag. Quite a deal, he ? With c++ you can also do more complex stuff, such as add one to a number, which requires a number of operations in c.
  6. differences between previous versions
    May I beg your pardon ? What kind of sick question is that ? In 6th position in addition ! Hum… let me answer… Differences between previous versions are the same as the next in paraphralogy.
  7. differences between them that
    He ! Two letters this time! No, just kidding. With them, you can insult a lot of people in one sentence. With that, you can insult objects.
  8. differences between democrats and republicans
    Democrats want democracy, republicans want republic (which is not the same as democracy, hence the fight between them). Otherwise the same, wanting more power than they can manage for their own good.
  9. differences between Islam and Christianity
    Both are wrong in their restrictions, otherwise the same. The true religion and the true god forbid drinking wine while multiplicating bred and fishes.
  10. differences between males and females
    Not convinced by the answer to #1, are you ? Ok, here is the real answer : males can stand up in levitation touching the ground with only one member under sexual excitation. Females can also, but in this case this is called a leg.

Ahh ! Feeling better ! Now that we all have the insightful answers to theses questions, we can move on in this difficult world of ours (however I am little bit worried by the IQ of my fellow googlers).

2 commentaires

  1. The first one is quite excellent, I don’t like the others as much.
    Yet, It’s good enough to be god-approved.

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